Chapter 3
Dear diary
I write with tears in my eyes, with much hurt in my heart, for I have been humiliated for loving, disgraced for being genuine, a mockery of the highest order
Remember the pretty girl I told you about, it turns out she's the devil. Her name is Chidimma like I said I truly stepped up my game, or so I thought. I took her to a couple of places, shopping plaza, eatery, even swims. To me, they were all dates. I will call her and we will have long discussions, never boring though, she told me some of her money issues and I will help her out.
I was so sure everything was falling in place, and with the countless discussion I had with her I noticed shes a romantic kind of girl. So I decided to confess my feelings in the most romantic way, I decided to write a love note. Here is the scratch I can remember
Roses are red
Violets are blue
sugar is sweet
spices are good
so are you
Among the stars, you shine the brightest
you're my vision of ecstasy
you pull the string of my heart
I have not felt like this for anyone
can you do me the honor of being my girl
It was something like that, I can't remember it all, but I slipped it into her bag last night and all night long I was waiting for the day to break like my life depended on it
So this morning, by 11 am I went to her hostel, to get the answer I was 70% sure is going to be positive. I came in only to see one hulk of a guy and his friends holding the very note in his hand. Then Chidimma came out and told him am the one that wrote it and she has nothing to do with me, that am just one of the guys that won't stop disturbing her.
I felt my heart ripped by her words and then she killed me by the cold look she gave me. The hulk of a guy and his friends humiliated me, made me walk home with only my boxers and singlet. Luckily I waited by the bush till the night before walking home to avoid further embarrassment.
They made jest of me, called me a romantic swine, secondary school disease and all the while she was watching and smiling, it was a real cinema for her, she really killed me.
Is this the reward of being nice or am I just unlucky, either way, am not giving my heart away, am avoiding girls till further notice.
This is an embarrassing moment, I hope my secret is safe with you, dear diary
I closed the diary and try to shut my mind as it is filled with the disgrace I experienced today. Why am I this unlucky, I so wanted to react, fight back but am a complete weakling, I remember as a kid how Miracle always fights for me.
I scoffed as I remembered our childhood memory,
"You should always fight back when franks bully you," Miracle said as she consoled me
"I tried but he's bigger than me" I replied.
"That doesn't mean he's stronger," she said. She has always been the strength in our friendship, I wonder what she will think of my pathetic self now.
I cried for days when they relocated, I wish I have a phone then or means to reach her, even now I miss her, maybe she's married now like all those girls that married after their secondary school.
I huffed as I realized thinking of Miracle made me forget my worries, she always made me worry less in the past, she once deceived me that my dead dog will reincarnate and come back to me once I get to 15 years, funny I realized I was being deceived when I got to 12, I then realized she fed me the lies to console me and make me stop crying.
I laugh, she really was a piece of work, a real tomboy there is never a day that goes by without me thinking of what she will look like. I kept thinking about my childhood since its the only comfort I have, I went to sleep with comfort and also vowing to stay clear of girls.
"Time to focus on my education and success" I muttered before falling asleep.
I stayed clear from Chidimma in school my friends noticed and asked me about it, I dismissed the matter and never told them anything regarding the issue and thankfully she didn't too.
I promised myself to stay off girls but it was harder than I thought, with the fact am trying to forget Chidimma I now have eyes for every pretty girl. I always catch myself staring at any girl with exposed cleavages. Slowly I started turning into a pervert, like a teenager high on hormones I started touching myself too. Touching myself only give me temporal pleasure and release cause I still find myself wanting more.
Am too weak to stop or get a girlfriend so I have no other option.
As time flies I stopped thinking much about Chidimma, I felt happy for that but still sad about my life.
"Do you notice Chidimma is always looking your way nowadays?" Ejike we're together in the library
"How do you mean," I asked, giving him a side glance
"Look up," he said and I did, looking straight at me is Chidimma, she has that tender look, the look I fell for, the look that deceived me.
"It doesn't matter," I said returning my attention to my book.
"Maybe to you, but man am sure she feels you and whatever that had happened between you both, she's clearly sorry and wants you back," He said sparking my interest.
"You're wrong," I said looking at Chidimma once more and she still has her eyes on me.
"No, am never wrong when it comes to this stuff of things, you should reconsider," He said and returned his attention to his book, I guess that's the end of the discussion.
She smiled and wave, I couldn't help but return the gesture she is looking so innocent, she returned her attention to her book as did I. Maybe I really have a chance here and not completely laid off from ladies, but still I have to be careful now.
Dear diary
I write with tears in my eyes, with much hurt in my heart, for I have been humiliated for loving, disgraced for being genuine, a mockery of the highest order
Remember the pretty girl I told you about, it turns out she's the devil. Her name is Chidimma like I said I truly stepped up my game, or so I thought. I took her to a couple of places, shopping plaza, eatery, even swims. To me, they were all dates. I will call her and we will have long discussions, never boring though, she told me some of her money issues and I will help her out.
I was so sure everything was falling in place, and with the countless discussion I had with her I noticed shes a romantic kind of girl. So I decided to confess my feelings in the most romantic way, I decided to write a love note. Here is the scratch I can remember
Roses are red
Violets are blue
sugar is sweet
spices are good
so are you
Among the stars, you shine the brightest
you're my vision of ecstasy
you pull the string of my heart
I have not felt like this for anyone
can you do me the honor of being my girl
It was something like that, I can't remember it all, but I slipped it into her bag last night and all night long I was waiting for the day to break like my life depended on it
So this morning, by 11 am I went to her hostel, to get the answer I was 70% sure is going to be positive. I came in only to see one hulk of a guy and his friends holding the very note in his hand. Then Chidimma came out and told him am the one that wrote it and she has nothing to do with me, that am just one of the guys that won't stop disturbing her.
I felt my heart ripped by her words and then she killed me by the cold look she gave me. The hulk of a guy and his friends humiliated me, made me walk home with only my boxers and singlet. Luckily I waited by the bush till the night before walking home to avoid further embarrassment.
They made jest of me, called me a romantic swine, secondary school disease and all the while she was watching and smiling, it was a real cinema for her, she really killed me.
Is this the reward of being nice or am I just unlucky, either way, am not giving my heart away, am avoiding girls till further notice.
This is an embarrassing moment, I hope my secret is safe with you, dear diary
I closed the diary and try to shut my mind as it is filled with the disgrace I experienced today. Why am I this unlucky, I so wanted to react, fight back but am a complete weakling, I remember as a kid how Miracle always fights for me.
I scoffed as I remembered our childhood memory,
"You should always fight back when franks bully you," Miracle said as she consoled me
"I tried but he's bigger than me" I replied.
"That doesn't mean he's stronger," she said. She has always been the strength in our friendship, I wonder what she will think of my pathetic self now.
I cried for days when they relocated, I wish I have a phone then or means to reach her, even now I miss her, maybe she's married now like all those girls that married after their secondary school.
I huffed as I realized thinking of Miracle made me forget my worries, she always made me worry less in the past, she once deceived me that my dead dog will reincarnate and come back to me once I get to 15 years, funny I realized I was being deceived when I got to 12, I then realized she fed me the lies to console me and make me stop crying.
I laugh, she really was a piece of work, a real tomboy there is never a day that goes by without me thinking of what she will look like. I kept thinking about my childhood since its the only comfort I have, I went to sleep with comfort and also vowing to stay clear of girls.
"Time to focus on my education and success" I muttered before falling asleep.
I stayed clear from Chidimma in school my friends noticed and asked me about it, I dismissed the matter and never told them anything regarding the issue and thankfully she didn't too.
I promised myself to stay off girls but it was harder than I thought, with the fact am trying to forget Chidimma I now have eyes for every pretty girl. I always catch myself staring at any girl with exposed cleavages. Slowly I started turning into a pervert, like a teenager high on hormones I started touching myself too. Touching myself only give me temporal pleasure and release cause I still find myself wanting more.
Am too weak to stop or get a girlfriend so I have no other option.
As time flies I stopped thinking much about Chidimma, I felt happy for that but still sad about my life.
"Do you notice Chidimma is always looking your way nowadays?" Ejike we're together in the library
"How do you mean," I asked, giving him a side glance
"Look up," he said and I did, looking straight at me is Chidimma, she has that tender look, the look I fell for, the look that deceived me.
"It doesn't matter," I said returning my attention to my book.
"Maybe to you, but man am sure she feels you and whatever that had happened between you both, she's clearly sorry and wants you back," He said sparking my interest.
"You're wrong," I said looking at Chidimma once more and she still has her eyes on me.
"No, am never wrong when it comes to this stuff of things, you should reconsider," He said and returned his attention to his book, I guess that's the end of the discussion.
She smiled and wave, I couldn't help but return the gesture she is looking so innocent, she returned her attention to her book as did I. Maybe I really have a chance here and not completely laid off from ladies, but still I have to be careful now.
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